Catherine Verduci
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Catherine Verduci worked two jobs while raising children and taking care of her father. She has also experienced homelessness.
ANNOTATIONS
Learn More [1]: S2630.
Learn More [2]: Dick Cauchi Alise Garcia Colleen Becker. State Pharmaceutical Assistance Programs.
TRANSCRIPT
Interview conducted by Debra Gallant
New Brunswick, New Jersey
July 12, 2018
Transcription by Kether Tomkins
This is Debbie Galant. Uh, it is, um. July 12th, 2018. I am at the 5 Loaves Food Pantry where I am going to interview Catherine Verduci for the 37 Voices project.
Okay, good. Alright, so now we are recording. And so what I’d like you to do it first tell me your name and spell it.
Okay, it’s Catherine Verduci. C-a-t-h-e-r-i-n-e V-e-r-d-u-c-i.
Very good. And, um, so tell me when you were born and where you were born.
Okay, I was born February 15th, 1963, and I was born in New Brunswick. At the time, it was Middlesex Hospital.
Okay.
So [laughs]. Yeah.
Um, tell me a little bit about the home you were, you know, tell me a little bit about your growing up and your family.
Um, well, we grew up in uh, Jackson, New Jersey. Um, I have an older sister. I have a younger brother and a younger sister also. Um, my mom was a stay at home mom, and my dad, he was the one that worked. Um. And my grandfather lived with us until he passed away. Um, I also did have a baby sister who uh, at three, she passed. But um. I, I had a really good, um, growing up. I’m… I lost my mom when I was twenty and then took care of my dad and my brothers and sisters so. I mean, up until then it was easy [laughs]. You know. I think everybody when they have their parents, it’s easy. Once they pass on, it’s kind of hard. There’s no one to turn to. So life kind of gets harder then. So. You know. Growing up was great. Yeah.
Tell me a little bit, a little bit more about that. Um. Tell me about what your father did, what kind of place did you live in, was it rural, was it suburban, was it urban? Um. What was the neighborhood like?
When I lived in Jackson, there were only four houses on the road. We lived on a dirt road. Um. School buses didn’t even come down there, we had to walk [laughs] to where it was. So I kind of, I kind of went to the country. Um, and, and at that time my dad worked at uh. Uh, at Burger Chef at Lakewood New Jersey. He worked there until uh, he worked at the [unclear] as security. And when we were younger, uh, they did uh, they owned a restaurant, Verduci’s Sweet Shop. And when he had that, he then worked for Edison Police. So he was a police officer for a while in Edison also. So.
Was, um, was your family comfortable economically when you were a kid or, was it even something that you thought about, or, you know, um, when you went to school? Um, how did you compare to the other families and the other kids? Was it an issue or anything that you thought about?
No, I don’t think so. Um, I think growing up was... Um, my dad took very good care of us. Um. He always made sure we had what we wanted. I mean, when, when I was fourteen, I did go like, work at churches, doing bingos, cleaning up, giving my mom the money. So it wasn’t kind of like, we had to worry about anything. We, he always made sure we had food on the table. Family was always there. My mom was a big thing with, um, bringing her family and his family together. So holidays we would have like, thirty, forty people [laughs], you know, in the house. So what I’m saying is, growing up we had, like, such a good connection. Like, all my aunts and my dad’s cousins, even to this day, like, um, they’re older than us and, and out of respect you always call them “aunts” and I still do! So even with my parents not being here, I do have my dad’s cousins, and they’re my aunts, you know? And, and my dad’s side is here for me a lot. So that’s one of the good things that I can say, growing up, that, because my parents kept, you know, like both sides always together? That we still have that connection, so--
--So a strong sense of family.
Yeah.
Can you describe, like, in detail, like, one of those parties we-were they like barbeques or were they Christmas dinners? Y-y-you know, was your family like the center, the hub of all this family connection and wh-- just describe it as if you were setting a movie scene.
Yeah. Um. Like, we would get up in the morning and my mom would start preparing stuff, and little by little they’d start coming in. We had a, also being that we lived in Jackson, they, some of them lived in Bridgewater, some of them lived in, uh, Virginia, but um, they would all like, they would all just come. Like, it would just be like, uh, here’s Thanksgiving. So my mom would just invite everyone. And before you knew it like, the house was like so full. We’d have cousins everywhere. And… It was just like a family reunion. Every time. It wasn’t where you would miss somebody. They, they were always there. And being also that my grandfather lived with us, you know, he was like uh, Nonny to everybody. So when they would come, we would go downstairs and he would play his harmonica [laughs]. And everybody, all the kids would be dancing downstairs. And all the adults would be upstairs, you know, just like talking and you know, bringing things up about, “This one is coming home from the army,” or… I mean, cause everyone in my dad’s side-- they’ve all held a position in the service. And each of their kids did too. Just like my older son is in the army. So he kept with the tradition of somebody with us, you know, being out there. So growing up, you know, was, it was like everyday was a holiday. You’d turn around and family would be like, “Oh, can we spend,” --you know, summer would come and my one cousin would be like, “I’m coming to stay with you!” And we’d have family there all the time. We’d go in the back-- because we were in the woods-- and there was a pond there and we would go and collect frogs [laughs]. We, we, like, the whole group would just come! It was different. Everyone wanted to just be there than living in Somerville. You know, when you’re there, you can go can just swimming and go outside or do kids things.
Did you feel lucky?
Yeah. I never felt like I was missing out on anything. Like, sometimes I would go to one family’s house to stay and I would want to go home because I’d be like, “Oh, but if we’re home than we can go outside and play.” Or, you know, like, we had a pool, or we had just had like, an open more space to run around or grandpop’s garden was out there [laughs] and we could go to the garden.
Did you have your own pool or was this a town pool?
No, we had our own. My dad and, he went and got us a pool and the fire department even came and filled it! You know, ‘cause we were in the woods so it had to come with the fire truck. That’s, that’s just like things growing up that you don’t see nowadays. You know? Like. [laughs] You know, like now we’re gonna go to the big pool down the street! But we didn’t have that. But we also had communities that got together, you know? Like, we had one guy growin’ up-- he had an ice cream truck. And being that you had to go over this crooked bridge to come into our dirt road, he would still make this trip to us! Because he belonged to the C-B Club that dad was with. And he’d still [laughs] come out of his way to bring us ice cream! You know, like, certain things like that growing up-- it was special when that truck came down the street, and we’re like, “Hey, we’ve got four houses here and we’re nowhere, but here he comes!” You know? “And we’re gonna have ice cream!” [laughs].
You called uh, your grandfather “Nonny”--
--yeah.
Where, were your grandparents--
--Italian, yeah.
Tell me a little bit about that. Um, uh, were they, they directing immigrants and did you ever get to go to Italy to see where they were from?
No, I have not gone. My, uh, dad’s cousin has and I’m waiting for her to plan a trip and then I’m gonna go with her. But um yeah. My grandfather came over to bring his brother back to Italy. And when he got here, um… He ended up staying with him and his wife. And then he met my grand-mom here. So, it was funny because he, he talked about it a lot, how he was not supposed to come and stay. He was sent here to bring [laughs] his brother back. And. It’s written down, different stories from when they came here because my great-great-grandfather on my mom’s side, they started a church in a basement. So there’s stories that they had written in little passages of things that had happened. So. And my grandfather used to laugh because he was not supposed to marry my grandmother. She was supposed to marry someone else. And when they met that was it. He said to me, he said that it was so funny, the rode with gavel and guns so that they could get to the wedding because the guy who wanted to marry my grandmother [laughs] was mad at him, but my grandmother wanted my grandfather. Yeah [laughs].
That’s a… very great story. Um, was he… Was it love that uh, got him to stay or was he, did he see economic opportunity?
No. It was love. Yeah… ‘Cause he ended up working in the mines in Virginia? He was a mine worker. And then when he came this way he worked for the railroads. So. Yeah.
So um... Before we get to, um, what happened when you were twenty, when you were in high school, um, and uh, people start to think about what you were going to do with your life, what were your expectations as an adult? What did you think you were going to do in the world?
I really… wasn’t sure. Um. At the time, it was more, I was helping to take care of my mom. And my dad, um, cause at the time my mom had been sick. So I then, you know, I talked to my dad and at that time he was doing security. And so I had went to work in high school at AT&T. So I was the youngest person in the office for a while. But then, um. After my mom had passed, right after I graduated, I left there and I just went and did security with my dad for a while. ‘Cause I, I wanted to be with him and help him. And after that I did accounting. And I went to do accounting for Walmart. I worked for, I did Human Resource for Walmart. I worked for Robert Wood Johnson for twelve years. I was there in the, uh, at the time we had a gift shop. And then when we closed that, I went downstairs and I ended up becoming an EMT. And I just stayed there until, for twelve years. So.
So, did you go to college?
I just went for my EMT. I didn’t go to college, no.
How did you, um, get the training to become an accountant and to do these, um, white collar jobs and, you know, at um, Robert Wood Johnson and so forth?
Um… The accounting-- I always liked numbers. And so what I did was one time I went on, somebody had told me, “Well, you know you can do taxes, let me show you how to do taxes,” and so I was doing taxes for people just on the side and for myself ‘cause I thought, “This is interesting.” And so, then I went to um, when I went to Walmart, I was working on the register. And the, uh, district manager had come in and he said, you know, “Catherine, I want to talk to you because your register is always good, everything is good,” he says. “Can you do this?” So we sat down and he just worked with me and showed me, you know, what I would need to, to do it, and he showed me everything, the gentleman from Walmart. And after a while he was like, “You know, I don’t want you just to be in here helping her now, I want you to take her position.” And I did that for…five years with them. So.
And-- and what was that, that you did with them in that, in that job?
I was the uh, he-- the he--, the main person in the accounting office. Yeah. I would um, do the deposits. Uh. Make all the, um checks. I would count all the registers, reload registers. Yeah. Anything that pertained to the money in the place, I would take care of.
So now, what was going on in your personal life as well?
At that time I was raising two kids. Um. My son was um. Getting ready to. He-- he was working on.
You know, looking for a job. Um. He was on the way. [laughs] And I had then asked for a leave of absence and I was told, you know, I couldn’t at the time. So I had left there and I went to another company and worked in their, uh, cash office for a while. ‘Til he came. And then I said, “You know what? Maybe I should go back to something different.” And I, I took off for like a year. And I. After that, I, I just started working for Raceway, overnight manager. I did um. Security on the side. So I had two jobs and um. My older son was with me so he would watch him overnight, while he slept he would have him. And uh, I just kept thinking, at one point too, maybe I’ll go back to Robert Wood, cause I was there twelve years when my two youngest sons were growing up, but I ju-- I felt like I was at the point then that, the reason I did EMT and I switched over, was I watched the EMTs, how they took care of my dad.
And I saw how they really cared, you know? And I said, “Well, that’s something that I think I want to do. I want to become an EMT. You know, I, I really think I can really make a difference. You know?” And so then I said, let me sit back, I’ll go to Middlesex County [laughs], and I’ll try my best. And, and when I went through the classes and I went for my certification. I was kind of scared because I was like, so many like, younger people there and I’m like this is, this is not gonna happen [laughs]. And when I passed I was like “Wow!”
I was like, “Now I can outdo what I saw these people do for my father!” You know? And… I, that, that’s what made me… You know, a lot of the jobs that I did was watching how people reacted to other people. And I think why I am where I am now. In what I’m doing. I saw people, how they treated, like, me, like when I didn’t have. And I said, “Wow.” You know? “I can do that. You know, I’ve got a lot of love that I can give to somebody, so if I can just help somebody a little bit, if I can show them, you know… Where to go? Help them in any way? I need to do that.”
Okay, tell me about your family life. You’re married? You’ve been married? Tell me about--
I’ve been married. Um.
Hmm.
I was married when I was eighteen. Um. I had my older two children. I had a son named Robert and a daughter named Evelyn. They’re the older ones. And then I have Melvin, he’s the sixteen-year-old. When my daughter was not even a year old, um. My mom had passed and that was when I also realized that the relationship that I was in was not really the best. Um. He was more... He, he drank. He was a lot older than me-- by 6 years. So I kind of more looked up to him, as if he would like, be my strength. And it ended up that I was his. I would come home and he would be, you know, drunk. And I, I would be the one working. And he would go but, and you wouldn’t see like, paychecks to help. Because it was more drinking. And I came home one day and my daughter had been hurt. And uh I, I called the cops! And I had to ask them to have him removed. And it really bothered me because I had really thought that, you know, he was the person that maybe I’d spend the rest of my life with. You know? And it didn’t work that way. But you know, I-I realize that I, that you’re not always gonna have what your parents have. And I thought I would have what my parents had. But I still had, you know, I knew that I could be strong enough like my dad. And my mom. ‘Cause they didn’t raise somebody that wasn’t gonna be strong. So I took it upon myself to like, really um. I had to sit back at first and just realize that, you know what? I couldn’t just sit back and feel sorry for myself because my mom had just passed. I had a child that was gonna be one years old.
I had a three year old. And at the time too, I was helping raise my nephew who was two. So I said, you know, with three kids, and then, since she had passed, my brother had had to move in with me. He was fifteen. And I kept going [sighs] alright, now I got four kids! [laughs] I’m young myself. And, well. Somebody, I really have to step up! I can’t let them see, that, you know, like, that I’m feeling the pain that they’re feeling.
So I sat down and said okay, let me see how I can figure the schedule of being with them and helping my brother, but now I also have to take on two jobs.
I can’t just have one because the bills have to be paid. So I juggled, um, working where in the morning I worked for, at the time, it was called Burger Chef. I worked for there. Then I would come home, clean the house, feed them, get them ready, and then at night I would go and clean, um, a laboratory at night. Clean up the, you know. And get everything ready. And then I would go home, check on them, sleep, and then in the morning go to work! And having my brother there was a big help. So it was kind of like, you may… You have to, in life you have to work around and see what works. I- it’s like they say, you know, you’re gonna keep going around and around. Every day is the same, but, in the end, once you get to one point, you figure out where you can do it better. You find something, you know. When I worked for Robert Wood, my two growing up? I had such the support from Robert Wood. At the time, Harvey was the, the president, and Steve was the vice president, which now he’s the president of Robert Wood. They were so… Like, they worked so well that they understood that like, my kids would go to school across the street. So they would come with me to work, time for school, I’d walk them over, but after school, they would have security go and bring them to me! [Sniffs] I mean, they really, people they go, you know, like Robert Wood works with you .So if you can get a job in there, it’s the best. You know? So for twelve years, that was like my… Greatest thing because I could have my children there, you know? They helped me go to school. They helped me, you know. That’s one job that they do work with you. If you want to move up, you want to go to nursing school, you want to go to something, if you start in housekeeping, they’ll help you. You know? And they help pay tuitions and stuff like that. So that’s one good job! [laughs]. So… twelve years there was pretty good! [laughs].
When you were… So, when you’re describing this, you were eighteen, or nineteen, twenty when you were in charge of the minors?
Mm-hmm [sniffs].
And you were not even old enough to vote.
Yeah.
Uh… Were there people in your life at the same age that you knew who had a completely different existence or were you in a world where most of the people were having similar things?
No, a lot of, a lot of my friends that I went to school with? Yeah. They went on to do other things and. But we were still friends. They knew, you know, my situation. And I loved that they got to do that! Because it was more like I, I could live their dreams with them [laughs], you know? But like, later on… I met, um, the sweetest person at Robert Wood. Her name was Barbara Denault. Because, when she passed away, when my mom passed, she took over, tried to take over as like my mom. And she saw that I was struggling, taking care of my dad then, because he ended up moving in with me after. And uh. She was my best friend. She was like my sister. And she just passed last year. She-- we did everything together. It was like everything! Um. Then when um. No, well, Barbara passed before then. Her daughter Roxanne passed before. Um. When her mom passed, we then got close. And it was funny because then, like. She had two older kids than mine. No, younger kids than mine. So I would watch hers. I would go over there. And then when Melvin was born, that was her like, baby! Like, she used to tease him all the time. Um. It’s hard because she was older and she was my kind of life support. I could go to her. And she came to me when she needed something. And she was more of a, a sister. You know? And that’s hard because, like. My son Melvin got very close to her. And right before she passed we were gonna bring her home to live with us. [Sniffs] So. That, that was. Again, like, something like. He’s gone through a lot. He’s, you know. A lot of times I’ll say to myself, “I’m sorry.” I feel like, you know, I feel, I’ve done it to him. Like, when we became homeless? I felt that… I did that to him. I- I trapped them both. But now, I look at him and I go-- I got a very strong, strong sixteen-year-old that, he now knows, you know, how to cook, clean, he knows how to take care of money. And he’s not gonna let anyone stop him and, and, now he, he’s friends with everybody here at Rutgers. All of the college students and him, when they come here, the interns, they are friends with him. And, and he’s now looking to go to college.
And I’m hoping [laughs] that he can get enough, you know, you know grants and stuff so that he can go. We do have one from Kohl's that uh, he had got uh. Two years ago when he did an essay. And, and he was in the Kohl's, he was hanging up his picture. He was in Kohl's because he--
Kohl's the store?
Yeah. They did um. Uh.. Vol… Well, I guess what it was, was they had people nominate kids who have gone above and beyond at their age. And so somebody had nominated him. And he won for the area, and then he won for uh, the next level that went up. So he had gotten um... I think it’s like uh… three thousand dollar grant or something which-- That’s a lot, you know? [laughs] So now we’re just, you know, hoping that he keeps his grades up, you know ‘cause he does, like, school, and that, you know, we’re watching the… you know, the papers coming home. The other day he got one from Rutgers in Camden and he goes, “That’s not Rutgers here though ya know ma, here,” and I went, “I know but it’s Rutgers, babe!”
[Sniffs] and he was like, “Yeah I know but I--” but like, you know, he likes it here and he’s used to here. And I was like, “We’ll see.” [laughs] You never know, that might be the next one that comes in the mail, you know? So. [Sniffs].
Would he be the first [clears throat] in the family to go to college?
Yes. Yeah. ‘Cause my son, when he finished school he went straight into the army. And my daughter, she finished. Um, she finished, um, she waited awhile and then she got married and children. So. Yeah. And she owns her own landscaping business [laughs]. So. You know.
It sounds like she did… well.
Yeah. She did.
Um. So. Um. I want to s-- since you mentioned your son, I’m going to skip ahead but I’m going to go back afterwards-- what do you envision for him as a college, uh-- uh, hopefully college student, college graduate. What, what, what’s in your mind that he will get to achieve? What would be new for the family?
Um… Well, well I know he likes math. So he’s always talking math and business. And… And I’m hoping that he like, you know, can achieve that and go on to maybe, you know, start his own business. You know? Like, really, I mean like my daughter! But something that he is, is really, you know, happy with doing. He loves playing hockey, he loves music, you know, he, he keeps himself busy. And so I kind of like. I’m hoping that he strives to go further. You know. I mean, it’s fine if, you know, [swallows] it comes to the point where, after, if he goes, “Mom, I just want to do music.” Or something, then that’s fine too, because he’s good at that. He’s played guitar, he’s played the trumpet. You know? I mean. He’s a musical child.
So I guess really I want what he wants for him. So, whatever he, in the end, decides, I think, you know. That’s the best. I don’t, I don’t want to say to him, “I want you to be a lawyer!” You know? If that’s not what you want, I’m not going to push you that way. I want him to do what he really is going to be interested in doing. And I know that he like, loves doing numbers and math. So. And I told him, you know, I’m all for whatever you want. Because it’s his future. It’s going to be something that he wants to do and be happy with. So I don’t want to go, “Yeah, but if you’re this you can make so much more!” But then again, money’s not always the issue. You know? It, it really isn’t. Because in life, you can be so happy even if you don’t have it. It’s just working towards, you know… a-a-analyzing what you do need to survive in life. And what you don’t need. You know? So... I want him to be happy with whatever he decides. You know? That’s. That’s my opinion.
So. Let’s go back.
Okay.
Um. You went to become an EMT.
Yes.
Um… the father of your first two children was out of the picture.
Mm-hmm. [Sighs].
And you mentioned also being homeless.
Yes.
So can you bring me through some kind of chronology that brings me through some kind of second husband or man and um, what happened and you know, kind of slowly explain what, what went on.
Okay. Well, after my father, um, [takes deep breath] what I did was, when we divorced, it took eight years. Um. For a divorce. And when we finally did, you know, divorce, um, I was taking care of my dad. And, my family kept saying to me, you know, “You can get out there, Cath, you know? You’re young.” And I kept saying, “Well, I’m taking care of my dad, taking care of the kids.” When you’re doing that, other things, really, in the way... It’s more of a deterrent to get things done. That’s how I always felt. I felt like, you know what, I’m going out to dinner with somebody. I have to leave him with someone, I have to leave the kids with someone. And in, for me. This person would have to love my kids as much as I do. So. At the time I wasn’t looking. But when my father passed away, um, my family had said to me, “You know, you really need to get out there, you know? The kids are now at that age where they’re kind of like, taking care of themselves and, and they’re looking. So you need to do the same.”
And so, I went with a cousin of mine, and uh… It was nice because I had seen old friends and everyone was like, singing and enjoying themselves. And then, um, at some point I kind of just sat in a corner by myself and somebody approached me and we started talking. And, and he, he lived in New York though [laughs] and I was like, “I can talk to this person because nothing’s going to happen after today. We’ll talk, he’ll leave, he’ll never see me again.” And it turned out that he called me the next day and he was on a bus back here and the next day, and the next day, and so like every day he would come to visit for like hours, two hours, take me and the kids out, and then he would just get back on the bus and go back to New York. And um, after a while my cousin said to me, you know, she said, you know, “He keeps coming back, he’s spending so much money!” And I said, I said, you know, “This is really crazy. I didn’t think somebody would really do this.” [Sniffs] And, after like, um, eight months of like, like dating? And then he would stay with friends at their house [laughs] just so he wouldn’t have to keep traveling back and forth. He then, um, asked me to marry him. And, and I said yes cause I, I felt that anybody’s that’s going to back and forth and waste their time, that there’s something there. So, yeah. [laughs] So...
Um, um, what’s his name?
Um, his name was Gabriel. Yeah. So. It was, [laughs] it was nice. But um. [Sniffs] Ya know, it was… a… long… thing of like, not really understanding certain things about his life that I learned later. I had never known he had kids. And nobody, even his family ever mentioned them. And after we were married, and, three years into it, um, his mom comes to visit us and she’s on the phone with someone, and she hands him the phone and he’s talking and she turns to me and she goes, “Don’t say nothing.” And I go, “What do you mean?” And she goes, “I don’t wanna have this person on the phone to hear you.” And I went, “Wait a second.” So then I asked him afterwards and he goes, he goes, “I never told you,” he says. “I have. I have kids. Well, one child and a stepchild.” [Sighs] And I said, “Well, why didn’t you ever tell me?” And he said, “Because I never bothered with them.” They always lived, I guess with his mom. And after that I was like, “You never sent them anything, you don’t send them stuff.” So then me and my daughter, because they were two little girls, we started sending gifts, we started sending things. And then I petitioned to bring them here. And I brought the girls here to live with us. So then, my daughter then had two little sisters and, you know. I mean, it was nice. When they were here, it was really great until… You know, he ended up, um, getting sick. And then I got sick. And the two of us then, we just clashed. It was like, who’s taking care of who? You know? And he… He, it, it just didn’t work. You know. After. And I said to him, you know, after, I said, “I don’t really want to be, but I need to step away. You know and I’ll, I’ll take the girls with me, and I’ll, I’ll raise them and, and stuff like that.” So. I’ve had two, you know, beautiful girls that have called me Mom from the day that they came here. You know? And now they’re grown and they’re out on their own and… So in a way, it was, it was good because I had even more children-- I’m the type of person they call me “Momma Cath” here, so. The Rutgers kids, they are my students, they’re also my kids. This year we had a big Thanksgiving dinner upstairs with them [laughs]. So. [laughs] Yeah. I have to be, you know, I, I want to nurture and take care like my parents did, only always it was more people, more love, more-- so if you can give that, you know. And, and there’s, we have a lot of love in us that sometimes, you know, we hold back. So. And I figure, why should I hold it back? You know? That, that’s the joy that you get. Then you see them come back and they want to see you and they come and they tell you what’s going on in their life and it’s like. You’re that second mom. And I’ve made it clear to the kids when they come here, you know, you need something-- you know, you’re my-- some of these kids come from California. You know, eh, all over, their parents aren’t here.
You mean in the college?
In the college here at Rutgers. I’ve had interns here from China [sniffs]. And while they’re here, their parents aren’t here. So it’s like, okay, we’re having Thanksgiving dinner, you want to come and have Thanksgiving dinner? I had one gentleman, he told me, he said, “I don’t even know what a turkey is.” And I said, “Well then, we’re gonna have Thanksgiving dinner!” When he came for Thanksgiving dinner he-- well, it was funny because he said, “I don’t like pasta.” --and I’m Italian now, okay, “I don’t like pasta.” “You don’t like pasta?” “No, I don’t eat that!” “Why?” “It doesn’t taste right.” And I said, “But you know what? Everybody makes something different. You, a-- you can’t say you don’t like something if you don’t taste it.”
So when I was cooking, like, I watched him, he’s watching me and so I gave him a little bit and he tasted it, and as I turn around my sister is laughing and she says, “He’s going for more.” And I go, “That’s good!” So I watched him as we made different things, he was tasting it. And you could see then what he liked. And we were laughing so hard because he had just said, “I hate pasta!” [Laughs] And he sat there and he was eating it. And after he said to me, he said, “I never had a turkey before.” And I said, “Do you like it?” He goes “yeah!” As a matter of fact, he called me a couple weeks ago and, and said he, he thinks he’s coming back for another semester here. So, and he said, “Can you make me turkey?” [Laughs] And I said, “When you come, yes!” So, it, it, it’s good! You know, like, when you see their faces or you’re walking in a parking lot and somebody approaches you, you know, and it’s an old student from here.
And you know, like, the pastor, he laughs at me, he said, “You had two students from-- two students come visit you,” and I said, “Yeah, they were just downstairs.” And he says, “Doesn’t it make you feel good?” And I said, “Yeah! Because I know that they still love me as much as I love them!” You know, they remember and that’s the biggest thing. And, and I keep saying to everybody, “I hope that my child, when he goes to college, even if it’s not here and he wants to go somewhere else? That there is somebody there that will look out for him.” You know? That’s all it is, it’s knowing that there’s somebody out there that cares, that will just open up and go “I’m here!” You know, “You need me, I’m here, don’t worry about it!” You know, I do that with my girls downstairs. I love them. Like Alexander, you’re gonna meet her, I love her. I just met her a couple months ago and I try, I, I want to help her so bad, you know? [laughs] Like. It’s cra-- like, I make my phone calls, “Hey, can you come here and talk to her? Can you do this for her?” You know. But. Again, you learn. You know? I, I learn things every day, I learn all new things even at my age. You know? But then I can… Move it on to somebody else because, eh, you never know.
Tell me about the period of homelessness.
Okay… Um, I had gotten sick--
What kind of-- what illness?
I have um… A problem with um, my gallbladder had exploded. But I have high blood pressure. I, my parents were both diabetics so I have to watch. Um. I have um… Depression. Which we all do! I mean that, that’s part of growing up. I mean, certain things happen in your life and i-- it affects you. So. I also have one kidney that’s not functioning. So. Um. I had gotten real sick and uh... At the time, I had to leave the job. And I had left it on Mother’s Day--
--which job was this?
This was the accounting. Uh, um, human resource at Wa-- Walmart. And so I had, um. I went down to the Welfare Office for emergency assistance to see if they could at least help me with at least for like a month or two rent until I could get back on my feet and my forms went in but the gentlemen put it on the desk of somebody that retired. This is something that… I’m, I’m finding a lot. That I hear from people down there. Some people drop the ball-- it’s, it’s not good. People need help. But when you look the other way, you know, okay, I understand that at the time, yes, I always had really good jobs. But at this point, I would, I, you know. I, I did not! I was, I had no work. And all I did was ask to say, you know, I went down and I said, “Listen, you know, can you help me in the meantime?” That’s it. You know, in the meantime. I’m going to get back on my feet, I’m going to work. I’m not going to-- And, he filled out the forms, and the guy said, “Looks good, everything looks good.” But he stuck it on the desk where he knew there was… No one. And I called them--
--so it wasn’t an accident? He did it on purpose?
I, I think so because when I filed a grievance against them, the gentleman who at that point was in charge of the uh, welfare over there? Very quickly called me, “Cathy, listen, drop the charges, we don’t want to, you know, going on…” Uh. So quickly, the, you know, because, when we went to court the judge even called him and said, “Listen, I have an agreement with the landlord and her and it’s only a month so far. So if you can pay that month and then the month ahead, she should be fine. You know, let her get her on her feet.” The man never called back. The-- he even ignored the judge. And I said to, you know, when I f-filed the grievance because all the sudden I’m sitting on a porch with all my stuff outside and I’m the phone with this guy saying to him, “Listen, you know, I now have a cop here because I have to take my kid to school,” because in Milltown, they have the [unclear] officers [laughs]. If the kid’s not there, they come. So even though we were, he, the cops saw, you know, I’m doing this, he said, “Kid’s gotta be in school.” “Okay, wait, give me five seconds.” You know, I gotta leave my stuff and take him to school. I’m on the phone with this guy saying, “Listen, you know, right now I’m sitting out here with what little belongings I can take out of here. I need you to, you know, get me into the shelter.” He said, “There’s no space.” I called at the time, a woman named Cynthia was in charge of this shelter in, um, Edison. I called her, she goes, “Cath, I have a spot.” I said, “Okay, well he told me that he doesn’t.” She goes, “Cath, I have a spot for you and your son.” I call him back and I said, “Listen, I just finished talking to Cynthia, she says they do have one in the shelter there.” He got so upset and he goes, “I told you, there’s no spot. When I have a spot, I’ll call you.” I’m thinking to myself, so where am I staying, in my van? I have no place to stay. So I’m calling him and I’m like, “Okay, well now we’re staying in a van. Is this, uh, you know?” He goes, “I told you, when I have a place.”
For three weeks, we’re bouncing from place to place to place. [Takes deep breath] He calls me, he goes, “You have fifteen minutes to get to this shelter, otherwise your spot is gone.” I’m like, “What?” So I did not go to the welfare officers first. They expect you to go there? I went straight to the shelter. You told me fifteen minutes. I go to you, and now you make me wait out there, I’m not going to get my spot. So I went straight to the shelter and when I went in, Cynthia said, “Cathy, I’ve been holding your spot for three weeks.” She said “We were gonna have to give it up!” And I said, “Well he just told me today that I have fifteen minutes to get here.” So I said, “Now, where am I, am I supposed to go back to him or?” And she said, “No, I’m gonna call him.” So she calls him and she tells him he was there, that I was there. He was screaming and hollering that I should have went, and she goes, “But you told her 15 minutes. We would have given it up.” So I said to her, I said, “Well, he’s not helping me. He hasn’t.” So at the shelter, when they gave me a social worker there, she was the one that kind of like, said to me, you know, like, “We could do this, we could talk to this guy, this is his boss.” You know, “We’re gonna sign grievances. This is not right, you shouldn’t have been homeless! You shouldn’t have lost your apartment.” And I said to her, I said, “You know, I’m not lazy. I know I’m sick, but I’m going to work. I have to work for my child.”
And… You know, everybody was like ‘Oh, shelters are so bad.’ You make them what you, you know. You make, you can make a shelter your home. I did because I had a child ten years old. I said to Cynthia, “Can we have a barbeque?” She said, “Yeah! So long as you talk to everybody else and you share whatever you buy.” I had no problem! My child made three grandmothers there, you know. Friends with other kids that, after a while, it was like, you know, you’re all brothers and sisters! Let’s have fun! We went trick or treating, I took them out trick or treating. You know? Yes, it’s hard, because you know… It’s a shelter. But. You can’t look at it that way. You’ve got to realize that that child… Is what you have to make it better for. And you know, they like, they say that the people there are really bad. No, they’re not. While I was there, knowing that, you know, I didn’t want to be homeless forever [laughs], you know? I went back to very nice guys that owned the Raceway. Um. Talked to Mike, and I said to him, you know, “Okay, you need somebody to do the overnight for a while, to cover while this guy’s on vacation?” He said, “Cathy, you were my manager before, would you take the spot for a while?” I said, “Yeah,” I said, “Listen, not in the best of health but I’ll do it!” The shelter worked with me where, during the mornings, you’re supposed to leave and go to the other side. But knowing that I worked overnights, what they would do was that when my son went to school, they would let me sleep in my room as long as I cleaned that area. So every day, I would go to work. My son would go stay with a friend. And in the morning, pick up him. We’d come there, he’d shower, he’d go to school, and I’d go back to the room to sleep. But I would clean the… Cleaning the sleeping areas. All the rooms. And I said to them, I said to people, “You make this sound so bad, but you know, if you’re nice to the workers, the workers are nice back to you.” It’s, you get, you treat them the way you want to be treated. You treat somebody bad, that’s how you’re gonna get it back. It’s respect. You know? And… When I left there, the gentleman, as a matter of fact, that worked there, worked for HUD in Franklin, in Somerset? He was the one that brought me the application. Now, I did not know it was only for me. [laughs] So I made copies for the other ladies there! [laughs] Had them all fill it out, and I ended up like, number fifty-six. Some of them were like two or four, but I felt like it’s okay, because they need it too! [laughs] You know, they needed a place also, not just me.
So you--
[Laughs].
--were waiting to get a home and--
Yes.
And, and to get applications to the home, and you, you helped the other people… Some of them got in first.
Yeah. Yes.
Wow.
But it was okay! Because, you know, in life, that’s what you do. You try to help whoever you can. And in the long run too, you know, I did get a place for me and him. You know? It took a little longer but… We got it. And, and that’s what counts. I mean. You can pray. They say, you know, God does answer. He might not answer you today, because remember, he’s got how many others that he’s listening to. But if you’ve ever stepped back and thought about what you prayed for, and then really stepped back and thought about it, you know what? I prayed for that, and look, it happened. I prayed for this, it might have taken a month, two months, but it happened. Or a year--
--how long-- I’m sorry. How long were you in the shelter altogether?
I was in the shelter for the wh-- the full span of six months, and then they moved me into a hotel because at that point was when my gallbladder exploded. So I was in the hospital and coming in because I needed a sterilized place, they placed me in a, a hotel so.
How did you, I assume, w-were you on Medicaid? What paid for the health care?
Yeah. I-- that was what they gave me. I, you know, when I went down. They did give me medical. And that’s one of the biggest things, like, people say, “Oh, it’s, it’s the best.” You know, they’re saying, “If you don’t have your medical you’re in, you’re in trouble.” Right now I’m on, um, disability permanent, you know. And it’s the, the card from… Medicare, is it? Medicaid? There’s two different ones. The one that, uh, the one though is really bad. The one I had before with the New Jersey state care? I had Horizon. They were the best. The insurance that they gave me now, it’s really bad because I-I guess they figure well, okay, now you’re getting your disability checks, you know, they take two hundred and some dollars from that, from my insurance. But--
And that’s every--
Every month.
Every month.
But I still have to pay now, though, for my medication, and I still do have a very big payment when I see the doctor. So my check that I get, if I do buy all my meds, half of it goes there. That’s, that’s the problem. Some of my medication is like a hundred and some dollars as well. So it’s like, now you sit back and go, “Okay, am I paying the rent this month or am I getting my pills?” You know?
Um. Is he gonna get a pair of shoes this month, or um. [laughs] Or you know, should I have to wait six more months. But they act like it’s the best and, and I, I asked them “Why did you take away my insurance that I had and give me this,” [laughs] you know? Because this is really bad insurance. But they said well, you know, you’re, you know. Disabled. So this is what you’re gonna get. And I’m like that’s really bad. So if I wasn’t disabled and I could work and you’re gonna give me insurance, you’re gonna give me good insurance where I don’t have to pay nothing. But because I can’t, you’re gonna make me pay. [laughs] You know? It’s like. It’s like, it’s not a win-win situation here for anybody that’s also. And you gotta figure, anybody over, what, sixty-five? Or that retires? That’s the insurance that they give them. They give them that. And it’s like, okay, well… They worked all their life… And now you’re gonna take what little money that has been put away for them that really was their money? And now you’re asking them to… Give it back for insurance or something. My doctor, the one visit was, she sent me a bill for four hundred and some dollars. And that was, wait, when I went in there she said it was a physical. When I received the bill I went, “Four hundred and some dollars? What did you do?!” And I said, no, this is crazy. I, I said to her, I said, “I know you don’t want me to pay this.”
The other day she said to me, “Are you coming for another physical, because it’s time?” I said, “No, because you’re gonna charge me four hundred and some-- I don’t have 400 and some dollars to pay you. If I had that, I would go to a better doctor!” [laughs] You know what I’m saying? Like. But you don’t. But that’s the thing, you don’t have… Like, they’re not understanding that yes, I do get this check every month, but that check has to pay my rent, you know? Yes, I’m living now in lower income housing but… Part of that goes to that. And then you figure what little I have left goes to make sure that there’s cable and a phone in there. I have car insurance. I-- and now that I’m not on that other insurance, I have to go back to paying, you know, like, four hundred dollars every, you know, three months. I pay every month now one hundred ninety-six dollars for car insurance where before I paid the three ninety-six, you know, three ninety-six or something for the year. So. You’re not helping me, you, you’ve just pulled all the things that did help at one time to say, “Okay, it’s alright, you only have three dollars at the end of the month or you have nothing before the month is over.” [Sniffs].
What do you do if you don’t have money for the medicine? Do you always get the medicine or do you sometimes skip it?
I have to skip it. Yeah.
And which medicine are you skipping, for which condition?
Um. Well. My blood pressure has the water pills in it but I also have um… Another water pill and the depression. And then they have a potassium that I have to take. What happens is, um. My levels don’t meet up. So I kind of like, I go and I’ll take the blood pressure one that has the extra water pill in it this month but I won’t take the extra water pill. You know? So. It’s kind of… In a way it kind of like, deplete-- but it doesn’t because it’s still a water pill in the other one. That’s how I think about it. Even though I know I need both, but it’s like. You, you have to figure out which, which is gonna work out best for you. So.
Do you have credit cards?
No! [laughs] Never! That was the one thing that my dad had always said. You do not use a credit card if you don’t have the money to buy it, you don’t need it.
So--
[Laughs].
At the end of the month.
Yes?
If you run out of money before the check comes you just…?
Slide by. We make sure we don’t have to buy anything else. We, you know, it’s… Do you, if you know, it’s not a necessity. That’s the whole thing. Even before we even start every month, I say to him, “Okay, this is what we have, this is what we’re working with.” You know. There is no like, “We’re gonna buy this, we’re gonna buy that. Do we need it? No.” That’s it. You know? He. I, I, with him… Being that we, at ten he learned a lot? He doesn’t ask. And he knows, you know, it’s like. I’ll say to him, “Are your shoes okay?” “Yeah, they’re fine, Mom! I’m good.” Now, I think before that, he’d be like “I want the ones with the skulls that match my skull sneakers and now I need these black skulls to match with that--” No. He just goes “I’m fine with one pair. Mom, listen, these are like thirty dollars. That’s good!’ You know. But I see other kids that go, “I want the two hundred dollar sneakers!” So. You know, like, sometimes I feel like okay. Growing up, we didn’t have, I didn’t go through where other people had… You know, we didn’t look at other people saying they had better then us and they didn’t do that back. But now in this age, it’s like that. So I kind of like, look at him going, I don’t want anybody to say that he doesn’t have. But he’s got a lot of friends. He’s one of these, I, he, he, I think he got that from me. He’s friends with everybody and he makes friends quick, and I think they then, it’s not what he has. It’s who he is. And I think that if a lot of people in life realized that and looked that way, it’s not what you have, it’s who you are! When I go and I leave this earth, I’m going alone! You know, I’m going with just me! You know what I’m saying? Whatever I had is staying here. So to me, it’s like I don’t need to ride around in a fancy car. I don’t need to have that, you know, you know, million dollar couch or, you know, whatever. You know, I’ve had my couch for… twenty something years [laughs], you know? I mean, the other day he’s looking at it going, “Mom.” And I’m like, “It’s nice!” Put a slipcover over it! And he’s like, “But Ma!” “Listen, it’s good!” You know? That’s… that’s… That’s, that’s, the way it is, you know? Or, or or, somebody will say to you, “Go on Craigslist looking for what?” Well, if I need a lamp and Craiglist has a lamp… Somebody else enjoyed that lamp and if they’re willing to give it to me, then I’m willing to then enjoy it for the rest of its time. You know? I don’t… There’s no looking at something as well, “Oh my god-- no!” You be having-- it’s new for me! You know?” [laughs].
You mentioned that tomorrow is.. Melvin’s?
Yes.
Melvin’s birthday.
Yes.
What-- do you get anything special, do you do anything special, are you… Do you have treats, do you, can you afford treats? What will happen? What will you do?
Well, tomorrow he’s going for his road test. Um. The gentleman who, um… Took him out the first time ‘cause he, because of his age, he had to go and do so many hours? The gentleman had said that he was willing to um, come and pick him up for two hours and take him for the test as a gift. Which, it’s normally like, I think two hundred dollars. But the, the guy was so impressed with him that he, he even came back to me and he talked to me about when he was training him and he says, “He’s such a good kid!” He said, “and he listens so well! I don’t think you’re going to have any problems with him.” And so I sat back with my um… My nephew. And I had said to him, I said, [sighs] “I want to do something for him that is different.” So, what I did was, I had gone down to a dealer and this guy was giving, he was gonna give his car back to the dealership. So as soon as he handed it in, they, they handed it to me. So we did like a switch there, and he got his car early so he could drive in it and learn it in. So, that was kind of like his gift.
Wait, he’s getting his own car?
He has his own car.
And, and he got it because how… How did this?
I had spoke to the gentleman that was training him that day for driving. And we had spoke, about, you know, he did so good and maybe he should have his own vehicle to train in. And I said to him, I said I thought the same, I said I was thinking the same thing, you know? Like. You always give a kid a car after, but they’re not used to that car, right? So. What if we get him one that he can get a car that he can train in and that will be his car. He’s already used to it and he knows how to… And so that’s what we did. Like, he helped me, you know, look online and find something .We went through the CarFax and did this whole thing and so this gentleman wanted to get rid of his car. And he didn’t care what anybody was gonna give for him. And it only had six--uh, sixty thousand miles on it. And somebody was telling me, “That’s great, Cath. You should talk to this guy.” And so my nephew and us, we went and we talked to the guy and he was like yeah, I was gonna trade it in, you know, just give it to the dealer and this and that. So I worked the deal with him and we got the car.
How much did you pay for the car?
I paid uh… two thousand. So. So little by little, we got to like…
How did you get the two thousand?
[Sighs] That was the thing. It was like. Okay, this month, we’re not… Doing… But, we don’t need cable, right? And my son was like, “No, we don’t need cable.” So we went out with no phone, no cable, for a couple months because those, that bill is like two hundred and some dollars, that’s ridiculous. And I said, “Okay, you sure?” And he’s like, “Yeah.” So in the long run, it was like something we didn’t really need, now he has something he will need so that he can work. Because your transportation’s gonna get you where you gotta go. So that’s kind of like, in our heads we were thinking what don’t we need? You don’t need, you know, you don’t need, you don’t need to watch TV. You don’t need.. You know what I’m saying? Like, at the time… There’s other things. He likes sports, so let’s go outside and play! When we were outside, we went outside and played. We didn’t sit in front of the TV, we didn’t sit in front of the games and play. So it was like… It’s just, little things that, you know, will like… We just feel like, oh we need. We don’t need. We can do without. Now my cable’s back on so I can watch my news. [laughs] I like my news in the morning! I like to know what’s going on in Jersey here! So I know where traffic is and where to go. But. Like, like I… You learn. You know? And, and… He comes first. That, that’s what I… I have to mold him and know that when my time comes, he is good. He will be great, he can go on and, and… You know, maybe someday run this place! You know what I’m saying? Take over and show… You know, I’ve had people who are homeless coming here looking for my son since he was ten. They come here and they, they be like, “Is Melvin here with you, Cath?” Because they felt that he did not look at them the way that an adult, you know, or somebody else looks at them. And they would come in and go, “Melvin here today?” “Yeah, hold on!” And he’d come out-- “Come on!” And he’d take them out there, and they’d go shopping. “What do you need, what could you use?” You know? And at sixteen, I still have clients who come in here, go, “So how’s Melvin today, how’s he comin?” Or, “How’s my grandkids?” ‘Cause they’d used to come in here, my girls, and they’d ask all the time! And that makes me feel good cause I know then that my son has made a difference in somebody’s life, that they have, that they still ask for him.
Explain where “here” is, what you do, and it a paid position or a volunteer position?
No, it’s a volunteer. I’ve been doing it for seven years.
Explain where we are.
Okay, I’m at the Second Reformed Church, the Five Loaves Food Pantry, and we’re located in the basement in the back of the church. Um. What I do is I’m the, the director. And uh, clients come in and I don’t turn anybody away. People had asked me that before. Um. So when they come in we sign them up and we… We don’t do like the other food pantries. The other food pantries will just hand you a bag with stuff in it. I ask you what you want. So what you do, is it’s more like you’re shopping. So we have, um, all different like you seen downstairs? This was from a very nice warehouse where somebody from my church works and they called me up the other day and said, “Cathy look, we have this. We can’t do nothing with it.'' And I said, “But you know what? My clients would love to have this stuff.”
When they come in, I have a whole counter full of all junk for the kids and stuff for you know, like snacks, because I can give you nutritional stuff, that the state and the federal give me but I also have stuff to the side that if you feel that your kids can have and it’s a treat and now summer’s here, so kids are home. What do you do? You give them the treats, right? Make them happy while they’re home so like. So what we do here is it is different because I'm also open Monday through Friday from ten to two, and then I open up again Monday and Wednesday nights from five to eight. And we have frozen meats, we have canned goods, we have snacks, we have, uh mashed potatoes. A lot of times if I have produce, I have a lot of produce here so we have so much that we can give. And then we also have a thrift shop here. So when they come if they need clothing or shoes or anything, they can go right into the thrift shop. If they can’t afford that, we do have some things that sometimes we have to the side for you know, some people. Now we are gonna try to do a, uh, backpack drive, so I have a young girl who goes to Rutgers here, who her and her mother have started to do that. So...
So, um, heard a lot about um, what the safety net or what the supposed safety net, okay, from um that terrible day that you’re on the porch and the truant officer is there and your stuff is on the porch and you don’t know where you’re going next and you’re calling the case manager to the bureaucracy um, and then to kind people at the, um, shelter and to what you’re doing now. So any last thoughts about the safety net we have and whether it’s working and you know just any thoughts you have about that whole thing.
It’s kinda hard, there’s a lot of things that are missing in the safety net. I don’t feel, I mean, to myself, people that I have seen come in here, we have a lot of young families, a lot of young women with children that need help. I feel sometimes they’re pushed to the side and so are vets. Now, I’ve heard over and over the past couple weeks, “Yes we do have Section Eight, but only for people who are on drugs.” So what it means is you’re trying to tell my girls that if they shoot up, you’ll help them. But if they’re not on drugs, you won’t help them. That’s hard, you know what I’m saying? So you’re willing to say to someone, “You’re doing it to yourself, I’ll help you. But you’re a young woman now, trying to help yourself and I, you won’t, we won’t help you.” I don’t get it, I’m lost there. Somewhere, some-- I want somebody explain to me why that, that’s the situation.
You know, and I’ve heard it over and over and it's hard because, one girl she said to me, “Oh yeah, I had a meeting with them the other day, and they said to me, ‘Yeah we have all these Section Eight vouchers, but unless you’re you know a drug addict, we're not gonna help you’.” So you would rather have this mother and her three kids in the street? And they're babies, it’s not like, you know? In the street, than in a home and safe. You understand what I’m saying? Like, I don’t, there’s, there’s so much that I can’t comprehend. So when I sit back and and I’m, I’m calling places and going, “Can you help this person? Can you help this one?” The first thing you hear is, “Well, are they on drugs?” Wait a second. Okay, well what is a rehab center for? You know what I’m saying? Put ‘em in a rehab center, try to take care of them that way, clean them up.
Is this a new thing that the, that the people on drugs are getting priority as a…?
Yes. Yeah that’s what I’m saying. I, I notice that, um, I had a gentleman here the other day and i have two families and all of a sudden he said to me, “Well I can help her because she’s on drugs and she’s going through this treatment, but I can’t help her.” And I said, “Why? She has three children. This one has a boyfriend and child and they’re in a hotel. This one is not, I mean, she’s jumping from place to place, but you’re willing to help this one but not that one?” He said, “That’s who their priority is.” And I said “I don't understand. I don’t, I really don't understand that.” So to me, this is where I’m lost. So how do I help these people, you know? These women that are coming to me, these young women, and saying you know, “I need help, but I’m not getting it where I'm supposed to.”
So to me I, I think that’s wrong, you know? I don’t know, I’m not saying that someone that you know has a drug problem shouldn’t get help, but I’m saying I would think that you could put them in rehab, that’s why rehab centers are there, and see if they can clean up. They’re doing it to themselves. This person is trying very hard and you’re saying no. That to me is like, okay you’re telling her, “Well if you go out and stick a needle in your arm, I’ll help you.” You know? That’s exactly what the system is telling them. And that’s bad because you don't want more like that. You want a parent who is willing to take care of her kid. She’s come to you for help. She’s not saying, “I wanna be on the system forever.” You know? Help me. That little bit of help, you know, it can help, you know, going to school, send ‘em to school. I had one girl that came here and I kept saying to her, “You need your GED, because they’re sending you to jobs, but they're asking you for high school diploma. You don’t have it. How’re you getting a job?” And they kept turning this person away and I said, “Go in the office, now tell them you need to go to a GED class. You can’t get a job if you don’t have this.”
I can’t be a nurse if I don’t go to school to be a nurse, right? So I can’t go to a job application you’re sending me to, “Cat, there’s a nursing job.” Okay well I don’t know, what am I supposed to do? You know? I’m an EMT. I’m, you know? So you’re gonna send me to a doctor’s...? You know? I don’t have that degree. I still have to go to school to move up. I can only do so much. But you send me there and that’s not gonna work. So now, I also now, that’s another way of you making them feel bad. Because each time you go to a job interview and they go, “no”, how many no’s can somebody hear in their life? You know? And that’s why I tell them here when people talk to me I’ll go, “Yeah okay. Yeah I got this. I, you know? Yes. Oh yeah I can help you. Let me try.” You, you want the positive, not the negative. You hear too much negative, you want more positive. That, that’s my, you know? I don’t, that’s where I’m coming from [laughs].
Thank you so much.
Oh, thank you.
You shared so generously, and such a, such a moving story.
Thank you.