Christian Rodriguez
Click here for the full transcript.
Newark resident Christian Rodriguez is a community organizer with a master’s in business who lives paycheck to paycheck.
Annotations
Civilian Complaint Review Board - Christian is likely thinking of Newark's Civilian Complaint Review Board (CCRB), an entity that was created to provide residents the power to review complaints made with regard to the local police department. The CCRB increases transparency into the policy department as it investigates complaints of police misconduct, ensures the implementation of disciplinary decisions, audit's the departments practices and policies.
Context Link 1: https://www.policylink.org/blog/newark-community-oversight-pd
Context Link 2: https://www.aclu-nj.org/news/2016/03/16/newark-makes-history-councils-passage-permanent-police-overs
Context Link 3: https://www.courthousenews.com/powers-of-newarks-civilian-police-review-board-restored-on-appeal/
Minimum Wage - Christian was working a low-wage job in Texas, so the increase in minimum wage in New Jersey wouldn't have helped her there, but because of states like New Jersey, the momentum for a national minimum wage of $15/hr is growing. At a wage of $10/hr, if Christian worked full-time all year long and didn't miss a single hour of work, she'd have only earned $20,800 before taxes, which is a poverty level wage in many states.
Context Link 2: https://www.njpp.org/blog/explainer-new-jerseys-15-minimum-wage-proposal
Economic Security - New Jersey has the most millennials who live at home with family members of any state in the nation. This is due in large part to the high cost of living here. It can be made better by increasing wages—which recently happened with the passage of a $15 minimum wage—and reducing the cost of housing so young New Jerseyans can afford to move out on their own more easily.
Transcript: “…well, I came home, back to New Jersey, and I didn’t have a job, so I came home to stay with my mom…”
Context Link 1: https://newyork.cbslocal.com/2018/11/30/new-jersey-millennials-living-at-home/
Context Link 2: http://newjersey.news12.com/story/39561122/nj-ranks-no-1-for-millennials-still-living-with-their-parents
Affordable Housing - Currently, there is no state where a minimum wage worker can afford a reasonable apartment on their own. This speaks to the need to raise the minimum wage so more people can afford their basic needs.
Context Link: https://www.businessinsider.com/minimum-wage-worker-cant-afford-one-bedroom-rent-us-2018-6
Child & Dependent Care Tax Credit - Christian and her mother would benefit from the Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit, which is a tax credit that helps parents and caregivers pay for child care. This is a brand new policy that was adopted by New Jersey in 2018. As described by the NJ Division of Taxation, "Eligible resident taxpayers with New Jersey taxable income of $60,000 or less who receive the federal Child and Dependent Care Credit will be granted a Gross Income Tax credit."
Context Link 1: https://www.state.nj.us/treasury/taxation/newlegislation2018.shtml
Context Link 2: https://www.njpp.org/budget/op-ed-how-trump-can-help-families-with-high-cost-of-child-care
Safety Net - New Jersey's safety net programs have long been ignored, left alone for decades to the point where the benefits they provide have lost much of the value they once had. Fortunately, many of the programs have recently received a greater level of reinvestment. The state's Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) program got a recent boost for the first time in decades, SNAP and WIC have received newfound attention, and there are several tax credits that benefit working families that have been increased and expanded to support more people so they can make ends meet and stay out of poverty.
Context Link 2: https://www.njpp.org/budget/expanding-eitc-could-help-over-1-million-new-jersey-working-families
Context Link 3: https://www.cbpp.org/research/food-assistance/policy-basics-the-supplemental-nutrition-assistance-program-snap
Affordable Housing - New Jersey's housing market is one of the more expensive ones in the country. For people who work low-wage jobs, finding a place to rent that they can afford is very difficult.
Context Link 1: https://reports.nlihc.org/oor
Context Link 2: https://www.businessinsider.com/minimum-wage-worker-cant-afford-one-bedroom-rent-us-2018-6
Minimum Wage - Due to low wages, people have been forced to work multiple jobs in order to provide basic needs for themselves and their families. New Jersey recently started a several-year phase-in to increase its minimum wage to $15 an hour. This will help low-paid workers earn more to afford their basic needs, benefitting the local economy, their communities, and their families.
Context Link 1: https://www.njpp.org/blog/explainer-new-jerseys-15-minimum-wage-proposal
Context Link 2: https://expo.nj.com/news/g66l-2019/02/eb7f9cd3567249/murphy-just-enacted-a-15-minimum-wage-for-nj-heres-what-you-need-to-know-about-it.html
Affordable Housing - There are various housing programs that prioritize communities with unique needs for housing. This includes supportive needs housing programs, meaning that they provide access to housing vouchers for individuals and families with drug addiction challenges or other unique needs. In order for more affordable housing programs to operate successfully, the state must invest more funding into affordable homes development so there can be more vouchers for more people with different challenges and situations.
Context Link 1: http://ichoosehome.nj.gov/ooie/ichoose/housing.shtml
Context Link 2: https://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/dmhas/resources/services/recovery/supp_hsg.html
Context Link 3: https://www.nj.com/opinion/2018/10/affordable_housing_push_delivering_results_for_nj.html
Transcript
And I am here with...
Christian Rodriguez.
Christian Rodriguez, where are you from?
I am from Newark, New Jersey, from Ironbound. Actually East Ironbound, specifically. And I actually grew up in Hyatt Court which is projects, that are located off of Hawkins Street and Roanoke Avenue.
What was it like growing up, where you grew up?
It was actually a lot of fun. I just remember being a wild kid and always playing outside, riding bikes, rollerblading, um, climbing up trees and uh, going up railroad tracks and up factory buildings. Putting money together so we can go on trips you know, to Dorney Park or Six Flags or what have you, or even to have block parties and have the fun days, where we have hot dogs and barbecues and hamburgers and you, all the cool stuff you had. I feel like I remember having them every weekend and even younger I remember like, on the weekends, uh, some of the families would go out uh, we had um, like apple orchards with apple trees and peach trees and we would go out there with baskets and everyone would go out there and fill up their baskets with fruits, um, on Saturdays, so yeah it was definitely a sense of community and a sense of closeness with everybody.
And what do you do today?
Today um, I'm actually a community organizer in the neighborhood, same neighborhood I grew up in um, in East Ironbound. So I organize at Hyatt Court and also neighboring Newark Housing Authority at Terrell Homes. We do a lot of work with preservation of, um, preserving the home and housing because it’s been threatened to close down, to shut down due to funding and lack of repairs, so we are trying to, you know, hopefully um, help save Terrell Homes. So we are organizing there and you know, all around East Ironbound. And um, in addition to organizing, we also, um, I'm also apart of a team that help mentor, um, of a group of kids between the ages of-- we actually have kids as young as five years old and as old as uh, fourteen years old, and it's a big gap, but we normally do, you know, bike repairs so it’s a bike crew. We do a lot of bike repairs and uh, bike ride alongs-- some of our ride alongs are to City Hall to um, protests about police brutality or ensuring that we keep affordable housing in Newark, because it's right now-- especially in Ironbound-- it’s being threatened by gentrification.
So, um, we do ride alongs like that, but at the same time we have fun and do bike repairs in the neighborhood and the bikes that they do repair, they actually get to keep. So, it's the Down Bottom Bike Crew shout out to them, love my kids, they are actively learning and kinda getting along. Most of the kids are from Newark, from the housing, Newark public housing developments here in East Ironbound so the good thing is, that they-- both developments to homes to Hyatt Court, they had-- were like at odds sometimes with each other, so bringing the kids together with the bike crew and ensuring they are getting along and what have you, it’s kind of, you know, bringing at-least solidarity between the young ones that hopefully will flourish and develop in the future, you know, and bring the two housing units together again, hopefully.
So it's a work in progress um, with all of us, um, but I enjoy, I enjoy, I really do. We also have-- I also work with um, another group of young adults between the ages of sixteen and twenty-four, and we work on environmental justice and social justice issues as well. We work with, um, Newark NCAP and I am sorry I can't remember the full name, but I’m sure it will come back to me, but um, it's pretty much again ensuring the police is accountable for their actions and making sure they are not being unjust to the community. We also, we also work on building the actual community garden within Hyatt Court so that we can get the community involved and bring that togetherness again that I spoke about, that we used to have before. Unfortunately it is not there anymore, a lot of the folks that use to live in the neighborhood are no longer there, so we have new people coming in from different parts of the town, so you know, they don't know each other, so hopefully this community garden can kinda bring them together again and have the sense of um, unity in the, in the neighborhoods. [Annotation #1]
So the young-- they are called EJ Young Adult Group and so we’re working on that name, so. Um, but yeah, a lot of the crew are from Hyatt Court and they have been part of the Ironbound Community Corporations, the organization that I work for, they have been part of their community garden and so they kinda grew, you know, they’ve been with the community garden and the garden crew for a long time, since they were little kids, and now they are older and you know ready to move on to the next, you know action and so to speak. So yeah, getting involved with clean up projects and building community garden directly within their neighborhood and continuing to fight justice for the community, as far as police justice, so it's a really cool group. So I’m, I'm excited for them. We just started that a couple months ago, so been going and I can't wait to see what happens with that group as well. So yeah that's, that’s me, that's what I do. As far as work is concerned that's what I do [laughs], it's a lot but it's a lot, a lot of fun and its rewarding and that's what's important to me, you know. It's what I realized, that it's important to me that it feels rewarding, that it feels good in your soul.
I just get a sense that community is so important, especially in these parts where you work and where you live and where you grew up, I'm wondering actually how you feel about that statement.
Yeah definitely, there is definitely a lot of factors and unfortunately, that makes it important for people like me, and you know, people who were in the neighborhood, I had when I was growing up-- I had folks like me, I didn't understand what they were doing, I just knew that Miss Annie, she's always there, always bringing fun day to the neighborhood, she's always doing something for the neighborhood. We are always having fun and so, you know, because of her, we had those things available. And so, just to rewind, I just moved back to New Jersey, um, I lived in Florida from 2002 to about 2015 and so when I came back I was like, “Wow, like, what’s up with this, what's up with these programs? Is this still going on? Do we still have this?” And I kept getting the no and the no and I’m like, why? And it was because there was no one there, to-- there was programs there but people didn't know about them, or other folks were too afraid to go into the neighborhood and say, “Hey, do you know about this program that’s out here?” Or they are too far away from the people in the neighborhood, you know, where they lack transportation. It’s a low-income community and half of the folks there, they work but unfortunately because it's expensive to live even in Ironbound. It’s expensive to live out here, you know, you can't afford it, you know, so sometimes if the resources aren't there in the neighborhood, unfortunately people won’t be able to get to it. So I feel like it's important for people like me to make sure that the resources are available, or that we bring resources to the community or back to the community, because again it's important to have that unity. I mean, if you have a happy community, I mean, you’re going to have happy kids. They will excel in school, schools are going to be better, teachers are going to be happier, it's just a circle of, in my mind, it’s gonna-- everything’s gonna be better. Maybe I'm dumb and optimistic to think that way, but hey, at least somebody's got a dream right?
I think really interesting that you are working from within the community and you guys have kind of a shared experience. I think that that is really important and I'm just wondering how these economic trials that you speak of, have affected you personally in your own life.
Um, I mean when I came back, I came back with a Masters in business and looking for a job and prior to this, I was living in Texas-- Corpus Christi, Texas, to be exact. And unfortunately that didn't work out, it was really, really hard to get a job out there, and the most that I was able to get a job was for customer service position at ten dollars an hour and with a Masters degree, you’re like, “Oh my goodness, I spent all these years in school, doing these papers, and here I am, I'm still making ten dollars an hour.” [Annotation #2] Unfortunately for me, there wasn’t an opportunity and I don't know why… I don’t even want to get into that. But yeah, it just didn't work out for me and you know, I came-- unfortunately, you know… well, I came home, back to New Jersey, and I didn’t have a job, so I came home to stay with my mom, and in my mind I'm like okay, I'll find me a job at the end of three months, there are a whole lot of companies out here, I'm sure I can find something quick. [Annotation #3] So I figured, let me try it out and move out on my own and, you know, go from there, I'm sure it will work out.
So um, I did. I looked for a job, but unfortunately a month went by and I was like alright, have bills to pay, so. I'm not going to put any burden on my mom. She's already on social security, she’s about to be eighty, so I'm definitely not going to put any of my bills on my mom. It should be the other way around, I should be helping my mom instead, right? So um, you know, a month went by and nothing. Then another month, and then still nothing, and then a really, really close friend of mine, like a sister to me, she works at an elementary school here. She was telling me about Ironbound Community Corporation and the after-school program. I started there and it was a part time job and again, it wasn't enough for you to go out and get your own apartment. I mean. A studio apartment is probably seven, eight hundred dollars and that's the rundown, probably in the basement [laughs]. And if you want something nice, you probably paying at least twelve hundred dollars. [Annotation #4] I mean do the math, you definitely have to make a lot of money. I ended up working with the after-school kids and I fell for them, and I enjoyed working with the kids, and doing their homework, you know, helping them with their homework. And a lot of these kids really have issues at home unfortunately. So school, they are not doing one hundred percent, they aren't giving their hundred percent all the time, so these kids need a lot of help and attention in my opinion. And so I enjoy that, I enjoy helping them with their homework, and just having fun with them, and just being in that position. I was able to, you know, work further with Ironbound community, but still. It’s a nonprofit organization, but still I don't make enough money to be able to go out on my own, and pay my student loan bills, and credit card bills that I have, cell phone bills, that you need insurance for your car, all these necessities. It becomes really hard to just live comfortable. It’s crazy because on one end, I’m like, Chris, you can quit your job doing this community work, and you do have a Masters, you know, you can get a better job doing something else. But on the other side, it’s like, god, you know, do I really want to leave these kids, and not do the work that I love, that's rewarding to me, you know what I'm saying? To do something that's going to be in an office, to do something else that I'm not going to love, and that's where it becomes a struggle. Like I get pulled left and right but I don't know. I love my kids, I love what I do, and I love the fact that I'm helping my community and that I’m... I want to continue that work, I just, I don't know, I don't know. I just want to continue doing that work, I love it and hopefully I can find a way to not struggle anymore, economically.
It sounds like family is a very strong value to you, I just want to know more about your family. Let me get to know them a little bit.
Sure. At home, I um, I told you, I'm with my mom and she is about to be eighty years old soon. She'll kill me if I sai-- because I said that out loud, and I told everybody that. Oh well, it's okay. And then Elijah, who is my grand nephew, I guess, he’s my nephew’s son, so he stays with us Monday through Fridays. So he is pretty much my responsibility, it's too much to put on my mom. He is three years old, going on four. Tomorrow, his birthday, whoo happy birthday Elijah! [laughs] But yeah, he--
What’s the date if you can let us know?
Tomorrow is May 11th 2018, until Elijah will be four years old. Um yeah, he is a handful, my guy, he is a handful. His dad, I’m proud of him, because he has custody of my-- of his son. He unfortunately didn't work out with mom, so my nephew has custody of his son and um, because he is a truck driver and majority of these truck driving jobs, unless you have been in the company for a long time, you’re gonna get the crappy schedule. And so, he has an overnight shift and so, um, me and my mom try to help him the best that we can. Um, but I take on the majority of responsibility with Elijah, you know, in the evening, so. So Monday through Fridays, that’s my guy. It’s me and him after work, he gets home from daycare, Dad drops him off, and then I get home and then it’s me and him. [Annotation #5] Then my mom, I make sure she goes out, at least to her friend's house. It’s good for in my opinion for older folks to socialize, especially with other folks that are their age. She still is strong and she babysits other kids, you know, neighborhood kids. She's always babysat neighborhood kids, all of my life. And I believe even all of my brothers life, she's always babysat kids in the neighborhood. So um, yeah, that's us, the immediate right now. My mom has three, my mom had three boys and then me, and then, um, my dad, yeah it's a whole bunch of us.
I can’t even go into that story. I didn't grow up with my dad, it was just my mom and then my brothers are um, they’re way older than me. Like me and my oldest brother, we are seventeen years apart. Me and my second brother are fifteen years apart, and me and my third brother are ten years apart, and I’m thirty-four, so you can do the math from there. Um, but yeah, so, I really didn't grow up with the two older ones in the household. But I did grow up with the younger one in the household, but due to unfortunate circumstances, um, uh, you know, he moved away and we can just leave it at that. My two older brothers, the second one, Robert, went into the military at seventeen, and then my oldest brother, which is Elijah's granddad-- he is a truck driver, so my nephew kinda took up, took after his dad and he is a truck driver as well. Yup, so I have a niece in Florida. I have a niece in Florida, I have a niece in Atlanta, Georgia, a nephew in California, a nephew in Texas, and then on my dad’s side, I have a slew of nieces and nephews in New Jersey and Dominican Republic. My parents, they’re from the Dominican Republic, I was born and raised here in New Jersey.
Wow, it sounds like you have a big, beautiful family and it seems like you’re the only one living with your mom now, if I have that correct, so I’m wondering, what's the dynamics there?
Yeah well, I'm the only girl, of course and I am the youngest of the bunch, and it was annoying at times when you have brothers, who just torture you, ‘cause you’re the little sister. Or talk to you because they are the oldest, and they think they’re your dad, so yeah, it was challenging. And then me yeah, I was the type of child, I was wild, so I was always talking back, and you know. I was a brat. I’m not gonna lie, I’m probably am still a brat, yeah.
How did you get from where you were, to where you are today?
So okay, so at eighteen-- well, at seventeen, I met a girl and so we got together, had a relationship. Eighteen, graduated high school, two months later, moved to Florida. Um, her mom was pretty sick, so figured it would be a good idea to move out there and help her be closer to her mom, and take care of her mom and she had a little brother as well. I went out there and I was trying to get into the University of North Florida, um, it didn’t work out, so I ended up going to the community college there. And from there, I think I did like, two years at the community college, and then I don't know, at that time, University of Phoenix, I was so, for me, I was being impatient, okay. And I was so, “Bro, all I need is a Bachelors, everything else I can lean on the job blah blah blah, I’m gonna check this out.” I got sold on this, go to the University of Phoenix, you'll finish your degree in two, three years or something like that. So I already had credit up under me, so I was able to start.
Which I'm not even gonna say was a bad experience. I learned a lot at the University of Phoenix. I had fun, I networked a lot, I met a lot of people with different backgrounds that I learned a lot from. A lot of working adults. So me being you know, the youngest of the crew, everyone kinda took me up under their wing and was like, hey, in real life, this is really what’s gonna happen. And in real life, that's really what happened. So I took the information technology course and got my degree in information technology, and I finished it, um, and from there, I took a year off and started my Masters and that took forever. And then, from there, I stayed in Florida until 2015, and between that, I had different relationships and went through different jobs. I was uh, first, a customer service representative, and then a quality assurance specialist, you know, the quality control folks that says when you call customer service, “Your call may be monitored for quality control.” Well yeah, they were being monitored, and I was that person doing quality control on that individual, on that representative. So yeah, I did that, um, and then I went to, um, did that for a couple years, actually, I did that for a long time. I did that for two different companies, and then I was a claims adjuster. Gosh, I’m trying to give my resume, but I’m having a hard time ‘cause I don’t have my resume in front of me.
But [laughs], yes, I was a claims adjuster and that was so much fun-- shout out to my homies at Allstate, my old coworkers, I should say, at Allstate. I miss them dearly. I had fun doing that job. It was pretty much taking calls, helping people with their claims, if this is broadcasted somewhere, they are going to be like, “I remember that voice, she did or didn't help me.” No, I was just following the policy, okay, please people, don't hate me, I promise you, I’m a really nice person. No, just kidding. Um, but yeah, after I was a claims adjuster, I went to another job at this really cool up and coming company-- well it's not up and coming, it's been around for awhile, but they have this cool software technology for, um, the medical industry. Pretty much like, um, the insurance industry and processing payments to doctors to insurance companies to their providers and stuff like that, so it’s really cool company based over there in Jacksonville Florida. Jacksonville, Florida, shout out to them. I know I’m doing a lot of shout outs, um, sorry. I really love my peoples down there in Florida. I had a good time out there, I learned a lot, I grew a lot out there.
Of course, through my whole twenties, I was down there by myself doing everything down there, living off of student loans-- that's why my student debt is so crazy, mismanaged it. You know, back then, they’d say, yeah, do the student loan-- before they started being strict and saying no, before you give these kids student loans, they have to through a-- what is that they need to go-- um, the counseling, you know. They didn't have that when I started taking student loans so yeah, so yeah, I got caught up on that too. Um but yeah, what was I saying, yeah I was an operations specialist with them and I did a lot of cool things, you know, actually finally was doing IT work, you know. Like I have graduated with my Masters from Phoenix, of course, you know, and it was just hard, to try to find a job in the IT industry because everyone was like, “Oh you already have to have experience, and we are looking for senior analyst and blah blah blah.” And it's like, if you didn't know anyone in the company, you like, you weren’t getting in. And so I just never unfortunately did anything in the IT until I got to a place where I was able to, you know, use some those skill. I appreciate them for that, for giving me the opportunity.
Um, unfortunately, I left the company, only because um, I just um, mentally-- I just wasn't in a good place, so I wanted to be closer to family. I moved out to Florida with an ex-girlfriend and you know, I had no family there. I had a niece that came out and moved out to me, but she ended up having a boyfriend and they ended up getting married, having a baby, so she had her own family, you know, and so, I wanted to be closer to, you know, other folks. And I wanted to see something other than Florida. I just have that spirit, that I like to travel and I like to see different places, so I, I don't know why I chose Corpus Christi, Texas. So, it was like go where the family is, family is in Texas, my brother, or come back home. And I was like, no, you say you want something new, so Texas it is. So that's where I went, I went to Texas. And you know, like I said, it did not work out out there. I didn't find a good job and then from Texas, I came back home. But like, part of that was, um, I-- my mom came to visit for Christmas one time, and I saw how old she got, and I was like, you know, Chris, um, it's time for you to go back home. But me being hard headed, I didn't listen at that time, so months went by and things really got bad for me. Me and my brother had a falling out, I was pretty much living in my car. Um, until my friend was like, hey, come stay. Which was cool but again, my whole reason for leaving Florida was because I wanted to be closer to family, right? So it really wasn't working out for me in Texas. I was living with friends and I was thinking ‘bout mom and I'm like, mom is really getting old. I said, you know what, you know, maybe this has all happen for a reason. Maybe the energy is just saying, is pushing me out of, and it’s saying, just get out and go. So that what I did. I left and I came back home. I came to Jersey, and let’s try this out. ‘Cause I'm the type of person, if it’s not working out, then alright, it aint working, let me just. I'm hard headed. I’m still hard headed, it will take me awhile but eventually I'm like alright, let's move on to something else. But yeah.
And, um, is this working?
Um, so far. Um, I’m not stressed, like I used to be, so as far as, um... When I say that I’m not stressed as I used to be, um, so as far as, like work, I felt like, I don't know. Working in the corporate world sometimes is just, just, um... I’m a lesbian, you know, I’m a masculine looking lesbian. I dress masculine so, um, you know I don’t know. That’s the reason sometimes people have a-- prejudge me, you know, so I had a hard time in the corporate world, so to speak. But when I got to work for this nonprofit and then I was, you know, doing work for community, and they loved me for who I am, and they accept me for who I am. I’m like, maybe sometimes financially, yeah, you know, I’m struggling, what can I do on the side? You know, what talent do I have that I can, probably, you know, master or work on, to try to, you know, make some money, so I can continue doing the work that I do love. Yeah I mean, if can continue doing what I do, love it, it’s hard but I love it. And continue to be able to be there for my mom, and Elijiah. I mean, Elijah, my nephew, he is really trying as a dad. He's a young dad, he's twenty-five years old, like how many twenty-five year old's, you know, are go to court and fight for their child, usually it's the other way around. It's usually the mom doing this, but it's him so I applaud him for that and I feel like he needs somebody there to help him. His mom is not in the states, and you know, it's just me and my mom, you know, everything else is not... He just needs the help and I wanna make sure that I’m there for him, you know, and Elijah, that’s my baby, that’s my godson as well, he will be my godson. Um, so yeah. I hope I answered your question.
Yeah, you definitely did. I kind of was wondering how your sexuality played into your life journey and you kind of touched on that, but if you can say a little bit more about that?
Yeah, um, I mean growing up. [Laughs] I mean, I came out when I was-- I didn't come out to my family until I moved away to Florida, and I moved when I was eighteen. Um, they didn't know about my relationship, she just thought she's going away for college. That's what I told them. It wasn't a lie, I did go there for college. I mean, I got there on a Friday, and Monday I started community college. I mean, it wasn't a lie, so um, you know, it was easy being as far as like, not being-- my mom’s Catholic, so you know, you don't really-- Hispanic Catholics don't believe in all that gay or lesbian stuff like that, very old school, especially. She’s very old school even though she had me when she was like in her forties, so you know. Um, yeah it wasn’t accepting at first, well my mom, so now being out in the open and Florida was cool, you know, socially, but at work, you know, at first, you know, at first it was okay because, you know, when I move down there, I was very feminine. Wore skirts, you know, girly stuff, as quote, unquote girly stuff. And then you know, started getting into who I was. You know, who am I? Who is Christian, Christian is not a girly girl. Christian is-- I'm aggressive female and yes, I am, I identify myself as a woman, I just, you know, on the aggressive side. I don’t know how to describe it. My friend described it well. My friend Jessica, I’m trying to find the words that she used. But yeah, I wear men’s clothes, but she used another cool word for it. I’m like, it’s in the back of my brain and I’m trying to remember. But yeah, um, at one point, at one job, you know, when I started, um, wearing ties to work, I was doing volunteer work with, um, this organization called Junior Achievement. And you know, we would go to schools, elementary schools, and we would teach these kids entrepreneurship, and how to manage money, stuff like that. Ironic, right?
But yeah, we would go out to schools and do that, and you know, I would wear ties sometime. I didn't think it was a big deal, going to school and wear ties, and at one point the big boss pulled me over along with HR, and was like, “Hey, you know, we don't want you doing anymore volunteer work with the school, if you are going to wear a tie.” And I was like wow, okay, um... So I stopped wearing the ties. I didn't think anything of it. I felt hurt, really hurt by it but I was like, whatever. I didn't know any better, I didn't know I could had a voice and say hey, that's not right. You shouldn't talk to me like that. But I’m like, probably twenty-two, twenty-three years old at the time. And you know these are two, um. I want to say, it’s two Caucasian people, you know. So for me, growing up, you respect the Caucasion people pretty much, they have the last word, you shut your mouth and you move on. And that's pretty much what happened. Um, now that I think back at it, it's unfair. I wonder how many people they have done that to. I don't know. It was just messed up but whatever, I'm sure whatever happened, happened. But yeah, from there it kinda shaped the way I dressed. I mean, and even in interviews like, if I was to go on to an interview look, I don't even ask my partners, hey do I look too feminine-- I mean, do I look too masculine? Am I okay? So I felt uncomfortable wearing feminine clothes. I just didn't feel comfortable wearing them, so, but you know, just for the interview, I would do that so they would not prejudge.
Maybe because they have a negative opinion on lesbians or gay people, so I felt as if I can just take away from the way I look and just if they saw me for who I was, and talk to me, then they would give me the job. And so, it would happen, and after a while I grew older and I stopped caring-- like, either you’re going to accept me for who I am, or you’re not. But then when I started doing that, I felt like I wasn't getting the jobs anymore. Like before, I could go to jobs, I can, you know, lose a job or quit a job and know that next week, I'm gonna get a new one, just because, I don't know. It was just that easy for me, you know. I could always communicate and, um, sell myself to get the job and prove myself that I was worthy for it. And I guarantee you, all the majority of the leaders that I have, they would say, Chris is really cool. You’re a good worker. I bust my butt. I felt like I had to do extra-- because, you know, I was Hispanic, I was a lesbian that was out, and the way I dressed, I felt like I had, you know, those-- I don't want to say negative ‘cause they are not negatives and I don't know what you want to call them, but I just felt people would always prejudge me because of that-- those things. Um, and so yeah, in the corporate world, that was just how things worked. Except for my last job, they were really really cool and open to everything and anyone, so shout to them as well. Um, but yeah, um and when I got this job here in Newark, it was like, wow, I freaking matter. Like me, Chris really matters. Like, it doesn't matter what I look like. You know, it doesn't matter where I came from, what neighborhood I came from. It doesn't matter. It, like, it-- actually it’s the other way, it really helps that, you know, where I came from and who I am. Like, it helps the organization, ‘cause we can help more people like me, you know.
Yeah, um, you mentioned earlier like describing yourself as aggressive a few times but really find you really warm. I could imagine why-- that’s why a lot of people like you but also you mentioned your dress and that's kinda been like, yeah, androgynous, yeah.
That's the word, sorry, there it is [laughs].
And if you could describe, also what you're wearing right now?
It’s a button up shirt with some khakis and, and I have tennis shoes ‘cause I was doing some, um, outreach for our cleaning day this weekend and I’m trying to do a neighborhood clean up, so I have tennis shoes on. Tennis shoes or sneakers. I've been around different states, I have a funny lingo [laughs].
Cool, yeah I just wanted to get a picture, yeah your vibe, she's got a gold chain, she's got a nice Buddha bracelet, um, some diamond studs.
My locs. My growing locs. I'm very proud of-- I've been growing them since December, um, part of my reborn identity, you know, of accepting and appreciating myself. So yeah, a part of my reborn identity.
Wow, please tell me more about this reborn identity.
I'm not ready to share that yet.
Not even a little taste?
No, no. Nope, not yet.
Still a work in progress, right?
Yeah, it’s still like... the phoenix is still, hasn’t risen yet.
So, um, you mentioned something earlier to me about spirituality and, um, kinda getting to the, you know, rebirth or like maybe even roots of who you are. I think getting in touch with something spiritual, also doing that in a different way. I was wondering if there was anything that helped you get through, where you’re at right now.
Where I’m getting to, I should say. Um, actually to say I started practicing, um, Nukumori. Which is, um, Yoruban, African-Nigerian religion, um, still new, but I started, um, was initiated about two years ago, into the religion by my ex-partner, but she was already into it. I was initiated into that and you know, I'm still growing, you know, with the religion, you know, um, and so just learning about that and opening my-- heightening my mind to that, um, is probably what's helping me as well. And just-- and not for nothing, I don't have kids, but being like that kinda mother figure to Elijah, you kinda have to step back and look at yourself and be like who. Because he starts to copy you, and you know toddlers are very, um, they pay attention to everything and so they copy everything that you’re doing. So you have to kinda reevaluate yourself and you’re like, “Hey, I don't want this child to be this type of person, so you know, let me fix, you know, myself, let me find who I am, you know.” And then maybe if I find who I am, um, and what triggers me and why it triggers me or why should I even let it trigger me, you know, it just-- you know, you just appreciate and accepting myself, and just knowing myself. I do that for me. I can show that to Elijah and he wouldn't have these problem, you know, like me. And he is able to stand up for himself anytime he encounters somebody, like the folks I did at that job, you know, and he can stand up for himself and appreciate himself enough and say, no, I don't deserve this, you know.
So I feel as if though I can fix myself then I can, and that's it. Fix myself, then I can help Elijah become a better person, you know, and even my nephew, because um, I don't know, I think it all works together so just learning, you know, my religion and, um, learning to find myself so that I can help Elijah is like, very important. So yeah and that, then I, um, we’re gonna leave it at that.
So I know you mentioned your ex-wife practices religion, right?
Partner.
Your ex-partner. Um, so just wondering if the rest of your family also does?
No my mom’s-- um I grew up Catholic, and my mom, um, yeah with the Jesus and Virgin Mary statues all over the house and yeah I-- not to knock Catholics folks, I love my mom, you know, how she prays, and appreciates all of that. Um, yeah, and-- but my aunt, you know, I didn't know that she practiced the religion, and you know when I came back home, I had my stuff-- and I had to explain to my mom to make sure it was okay with her, since it was her home-- that I bring my things at her home and she totally great with it, but I won't go into detail about the things I bring into the house, the things that are part of my religion that I bring in the house, but… I got lost, you said, what was it again?
Um, I asked if the rest of your family--
Oh yeah, my aunt, so when I bring my things in, yes, so my mom-- um, you know, we had a conversation, yeah, your aunt, you know, and her aunt, and her aunt practice a religion but I didn't know but when she started mentioning it to me, I was like, oh yeah, as a child, my aunt would be like, “What are you doing, don't go in there.” You know, because with the religion, you know, because it’s a African religion and when we, um, when the Africans were moved, you know, taken away from Nigeria and to these Caribbean countries like Cuba, Brazil, Dominican Republic, different countries like that, a lot of the, um, Africans had to hide, you know, their religion, because, you know, their slave-masters, you know, Portuguese and Spanish slave-masters would whip them for, you know, practicing their religion and not adopting, you know, Christian religion, you know, that they were practicing. For a long time, you know, that religion has been hidden. And so, my aunt, when she was taught, you know, she was taught she had to hide everything and don't show everybody everything stuff like that. So that’s how I remember. “Don't go in there, hey, what are you doing.”
It was cool that I found out that even through my, um, spiritual, um, how do I want to say. I'm looking for, I guess, or I'm always on this spiritual walk that I'm trying to find like, the next spiritual half or whatever and so in looking for it, I always knew I had African roots, I don't know. Somewhere down in my family, in my ancestry, you know, I'm brown skin, so you know, I'm sure I have some African roots down there. So you know, I just feel connected to it. So you know, talk about it with my mom, knowing that my aunt practiced it, and then her aunt as well, and then I wonder where her aunt learned it from. I'm sure it goes back to my ancestors, you know. So I just find it interesting, yeah. I've tried and I did, like I said, I grew up Catholic, so I did my communion, my confirmation, so I did all that. Um, after that, I was a Baptist Christian, then I was saved, with that for a couple years, until I, just right now I'm practicing Yoruba.
Yeah, it’s helped me a lot. I don’t knock any religion at all. My brother is Muslim. I have, you know, family that just practices different religions. Do to me, there is some type of connection to every religion. It's just the way people just decide to worship God or Allah or whomever, whatever, Jehovah, whatever name you use, to, you know, I don't mean to become religious or anything like that, if I am, sorry. Yeah, I don't knock it, everybody has something right about it. Got to be, it has to be. You know, however you may ask for something, whatever it is, you know, comes to you. I mean, I asked for something that way, so it comes to me. Somebody else might ask another way, I don't know, I just... crazy.
No, that sounds beautiful. I really appreciate that, yeah. And I'm wondering how that plays into the fine line we were talking about, of balancing, kinda like, you know, kinda like something that’s like soul-nourishing and money. You know, practicality and what kinda sacrifices you have to make, or you feel you have to make in order to keep that balanced.
It’s a everyday struggle. I struggle with it everyday. Like I said, I’m more like back and forth and so I honestly I just keep, you know, asking for guidance. If this continues to work I'm learning, you know, I'm learning about our environment. I'm learning about organizing. I'm learning about my community and how we live in this nasty environment that stinks. If you ever come to Ironbound, especially East Ironbound, it stinks, cause we're surrounded by manufacturers, incinerators, industries that produce chemicals that are just nasty to the environment, and there are no regulations that, you know, there are no heavy regulations to out them in place. There is technology that's out there for them to use but you know, unfortunately, there is no regulation for them to use it, they are not going to spend the money to use them. So I'm learning these things about my community and now yes, I'm struggling, but the more that I continue to learn, the more that I know how to better my community. I think eventually the money will catch up, maybe. I'm hoping, but yeah.
So right now, I guess it's important to continue to feed, um, my soul with, um, the nourishment of helping my community. I think that that is important. Continue to make me happy. Even though I have financial struggles sometimes, I can say that, you know what, it is what it is. You can do what you can do, you have your life, your health, your mom is here, you have a job, you know everything else will just have to work out. You know you’re helping your community. You know sometimes I'm taking out of my little bit of money to help the kids, you know, if I see kids in the street, “Hey Chris, where you going?” and I’m like, “I’m going to so and so,” and they look down, “Can I go?” I would really, would love to take them and I can't take them with me, ‘cause Chris needs adult time sometimes and these are the kids in the neighborhood. They are wanting to come because they know that Chris is going to feed them, so I’ll throw a little money. Sometimes it’s my little, my last little five bucks, but it's okay. He ate, you know, it’s gonna be alright and you know, when you go back home you’re gonna be okay ‘cause there is food at home. So five dollars is nothing you know, especially when it’s these kids. So that's me. Yeah, sometimes I go without for a couple days, but it’s cool, it’s alright. ‘Cause I'm gonna get it in the future and I’m gonna be able to help my community so we can all help ourselves, so that you know, kids that are going to college are not making dumb decisions or not being taken advantage of student loans or going to the right colleges. Making sure they do their research about colleges, you know, that they are informed. A lot of times growing up, we are not informed, the people are not informed, so just making sure I’m doing a little bit, maybe can help somebody else. That you know, hey, I’ll get my reward later, if there is anything. I don't do it for the reward. I do it ‘cause I really love what I do. You know, I really love what I do and like I said, the finances, it hurts sometimes, but it will come.
Wow, um, do you ever see, like, things changing structurally?
So yeah, I was thinking about that safety net. Um, no, I don't have a safety net, because I'm living paycheck to paycheck, and paying the bills that I have and uh, even if I wanted to try to create a safety net program for the community, I could probably help myself out. [Clears throat] Excuse me. [Annotation #6] The community-- I mean, some of the folks are having a hard time you know, paying their rent, just living themselves. They are also living paycheck to paycheck, it is too expensive to live out there. Rent is expensive and you know, the pay is not catching up to, you know, the amount of rent, you know, real estate is not catching up to it. [Annotation #7] So we need to focus on our money issue, you know, as far as paying folks money what they are worth, so you are able to pay the twelve hundred dollar rent. [Annotation #8] I can imagine what somebody who is a single mother who can't afford to live in public housing-- there is a wait list in public housing, there is a wait list in public housing and you can't get in right away and has to live out here where there is market rent. It’s expensive. I can only imagine the struggle they make, so you know it’s hard, you know. How can someone make or create a safety net, if they are living paycheck to paycheck? I want to know. Unfortunately, some people do not have that. They don't have somebody to fall back, and rely on. [Annotation #9]
Look at my nephew-- what if we were not here, who could he rely on? Could he rely on a stranger to take care of his son overnight? A toddler at that-- a three year old, a four year old, it’s hard, it’s hard. But so yeah, it’s nice that I have my mom and I appreciate the heck out of her, you don't even know. It could be Mothers Day here in the states on Sunday, but I’m always a last minute person, so hopefully gonna get her something nice. I haven't thought about it yet, but I know it's gonna be good. We’re gonna hang out, I know she likes to do the slot machines so maybe we will hit up somewhere with slot machines. But yeah, I mean, people don't have their family to lean on, especially the LGBTQ community. You know, a lot of us are disowned by family. You know, it took my mom a long time to accept me for who I am. And still to this day, I'm still careful about, if I bring a woman around her. Because I still want to respect her. I don't know, it's a work in progress. I appreciate who I am, but I am still working on myself and I'm still not where I am-- where I want to be, you know. So yeah, going back to the family thing-- it's cool if they have family to lean back on, it’s nice, but sometimes our families are-- there’s no family, or maybe a family can’t help you. So it’s hard.